That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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