My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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