i think my tv is drunk
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
