why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
