I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
honey bunches of taint.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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