When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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