I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
