But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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