we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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