when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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