And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
