So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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