Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
