I think my vagina is haunted
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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