is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
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if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
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That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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