she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
