the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
