she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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