Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
