My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
