I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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