You're my little dorito
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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