I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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