btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
