Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
