she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
