you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
