her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize