so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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