i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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