If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
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He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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