dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Randomize
