I look better un-naked...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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