can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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