Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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