My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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