Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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