he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She told me I should be a condom model.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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