I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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