He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
