Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
