I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
