so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
