I seem to have left my pride at pride
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
