He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
