Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
