Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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