yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize