I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
