matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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