its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
