over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
A bitchslap is in order.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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