I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
