the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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