what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Sober January is a disaster.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize