sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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