So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize