my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I could make wine with my vomit
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
