Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
