She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
